Weirder and weirder at Room Service

On Sunday evening, after getting back to the city from Princeton, AV and I headed to Room Service for some Thai food. I've been there twice before, for some reason, despite the fact that it wasn't great either time around. But hey, we had a yen, so we made our way there.

Room Service is still one of the more bizarro restaurants around. The giant chandeliers, the crazy metal chairs, the techno music... it's like being in some tripped out club, only it's 7PM. We took our customary 1.5 seconds to figure out what we wanted to order, and soon our waiter sidled up and took our order with about as much awkwardness as a three-sentence exchange can embody. While we waited for our appetizer to arrive, we eavesdropped on-- nay, were subjected to-- the conversation of our neighbors, which went a little something like this: "You're skinny." "No I'm not." "Yes you are." All righty then.

Finally, our dumplings arrived to arrest our attention. Thank you, dumplings. Although I still argue with the presentation-- all clumped together in a pool of sauce, rather than presented separately with dipping sauce on the side-- the dumplings were really quite good and piping hot. The dipping sauce was sweet soy, and I still would have preferred a bit more of it. And on the side. Did I mention I like to control the dipping?

Big ol' mass of dumplings

After we scarfed the dumplings, we paused for a brief interlude to let a passing waitress spill a stream of steaming hot tea-water on AV's arm. By way of apology, she produced a stack of paper napkins. Sweet, thanks. Fortunately, the brief sponge bath fortified us for the entree course, which came shortly after our neighbors' tea. AV went with the traditional pad see ew with chicken; he enjoyed it, noting that, like the dumplings, it was also steaming hot.

Hot, like the tea water

My choice was the Thai Salad. This was the most difficult-to-eat food I've had in a very long time, perhaps ever. It's tough to see from the picture, but it came in a deep, flared vessel about a foot high, which AV compared alternately to a medieval helmet or a bedpan (thanks, darling). There was a little ladle holding about a cup of peanut dressing (quite good), which I removed from the veggies. And then I tried to tackle the salad. I gave up on the slippery plastic chopsticks immediately, grabbing my fork like a trident. The huge discs of cucumber were too large to dip comfortably, and of course I had neither a knife nor a flat surface on which to cut, so I just made do. Underneath the cukes, pallid tomatoes, and huge wands of dessicated fried tofu was a melange of julienned carrot, red onions, and bean threads. And another six inches down was a bed of stiff iceberg lettuce, cut into pieces about 3" by 3", which of course also rendered them nearly inedible by themselves without the right utensils, let alone in combination with any of the other vegetables. While I tried gamely to spear, dip, and chew the veggies, the table on the other side of us filled up with two of the most obnoxious couples we've ever had the displeasure of running into. So I tried to eat faster so we could get out of there. But I couldn't eat fast enough. Each bit revealed more veggies underneath, each more awkwardly cut than the last, and my sad, knifeless fork couldn't keep up. Finally I just gave up. We paid and left.

There's about a pound of vegetables under the visible matter here

So what I've learned about Room Service is thus: The restaurant is all about form, pretty much constantly sacrificing function along the way. The chairs are visually arresting but uncomfortable. The presentations are interesting but sacrifice the food on the altar of style. The huge green plastic chopsticks are striking but are difficult to use. You get the picture. The salad would actually have been a pretty good value if it were at all accessible, but c'est la vie. Will I go back to Room Service? Alas, probably. Hey, sometimes I get a craving for some more avant-garde Thai than our old standbys. Which makes Room Service the prototypical three Offset Spatula restaurant-- some pros, some cons, but good enough to go back.

Room Service
9th Avenue between 47th and 48th Streets
212-691-0299

Ripped off at Room Service

This evening, walking home from the bakery, I passed a new restaurant on 9th Ave between 47th and 48th streets. Called Room Service, it was Thai, like every other restaurant on 9th Ave, and it looked cool. So when the bro and I were searching for a dinner destination, we headed straight there.

I'll be upfront with the primary positive of dining at RS: the space is cool. Very cool. It's modern and baroque at the same time: The chairs are metal wire covered with black pads; there's a collection of different shaped mirrors on the ceiling; and the center of the room is occupied by a giant chandelier. The bathroom was gorgeous and dominated by an enormous framed mirror leaning up against one wall. Even the food presentation and the accompanying tableware were really cool. You'll never be bored eating there, that's for sure-- there's always something interesting to look at.

Unfortunately, the food isn't quite as cool. The bro and I both agonized over our food selections, as there were many items on the menu that appealed to both of us. After much thought, he went with an appetizer sampler, ordering the chicken satay, the coconut calamari tempura, and the assorted golden fritters. The satay arrived first and was definitely the winner of all of them-- it was beautiful and very tasty, he reported. The assorted golden fritters were merely "meh"; while some were good, some weren't. And the calamari was simply awful: not only did it not taste of coconut, but it was so over-fried that the entire dish was desiccated. The bro tried one or two bites of it and left the remainder in the bowl.

Vertical satay

Fritters. In one half of the bowl.

Brittle and dry... but was once calamari

My own selection was the spicy Thai basil saute with vegetables and tofu. It was okay; not incredibly flavorful but not awful. Bizarrely, it got cold rather quickly. The accompanying sticky white rice was probably better than the main dish-- very coolly presented and delicious, especially when doused with soy sauce from the amazingly awesome bottle the bro requested.

Stealthily expensive...

Mod rice

Throughout the meal, service was incredibly, claustrophobically attentive. We were asked whether our meal was okay by three or four separate waiters (I lost count); one waitress attempted to take away one of our plates two times while we were still not done with it. This is clearly a function of the restaurant being new, but.... still. At a certain point, you've gotta let us eat in peace.

In any case, all this would lead me to waffle between granting two and three Offset Spatulas. But wait-- Room Service decided it for me. When the bill arrived, my dish was a dollar extra than it had been on the menu. When I asked the waiters about the charge, they informed me that the extra charge was because I had asked for tofu AND vegetables-- tofu is $1 extra. One of the waiters went to retrieve the menu to "clear things up." Well, nowhere on the menu did it disclose the extra charge; in the "Vegetarian dishes" corner, it stated that all dishes could be made "with assorted tofu and a variety of vegetables upon request." Silly me, I took that to mean that dishes could have veggies and tofu for the stated vegetarian price. Apparently not. I told the waiter that that was misleading and I wouldn't have ordered the tofu if I had known it was going to be a dollar more. He said something to the effect of "wow, thanks for informing me," and then did nothing. So I paid my extra dollar and we left.

And that, dear readers, is how we went from a potential three-OSer with a probable return visit due to the cool atmosphere to a never-again two-OS place, far down my priority list of Thai places on 9th. Too bad, too, because the space itself has such promise.

Room Service
9th Avenue between 47th and 48th Streets