Two notaries, a burrito, and a black & white cookie

Once upon a time, JR and I went in search of a notary. We had an affidavit to get notarized, and this being NYC, we figured it shouldn't be too difficult to find someone within a reasonable radius of Hell's Kitchen.

First try: the UPS store. Fortunately, we called before we went, a call that revealed our notary did not exist. On to Plan B: some quick googling revealed that, lo and behold, there was a combination tax preparer/notary right across the street from me. We went in, and about 15 minutes later, we emerged having experienced one of the weirdest 15 minutes of our lives. It's not even possible to describe in words-- just suffice it to say that we took our "notarized" document, marched right up to my apartment, and commenced Round 2 of preparing a new version, finding a new notary, and getting it done legitimately. There ain't no chance that the New York Bar Association was going to accept Round 1.

A few more calls later, I finally spoke to someone at the local Capital One bank. Did they have a notary? Yes! Could we just walk in and get something notarized? Yes! So walk we did, straight over to that branch, and announced that we were in search of the notary. Tough luck, us: She just left on her lunch break. For an hour.

And so, dear readers, that's how JR and I ended up at El Centro in the middle of the afternoon, having burritos, chips and salsa, and a sangria-ita (JR) and a Diet Coke (me). The other patrons of the restaurant included a trio of roaringly drunk youngsters-- hey guys, more power to you. Perhaps they, too, had ordered the sangria-ita, a combination of margarita and sangria. It was potent and tasted kind of like a sweetened, refreshing, fruity margarita.

This can't be good.

As for the food, it got a thumbs up from JR. He got the burro hellicioso--no, I have no idea what that means, but it involved chicken, guac, chipotles, rice, and beans. It also came with a little mesclun side salad coated in a spicy dressing. Nice!

Lots of colors here

Oh, and there were chips and salsa

Despite our best efforts, lunch only took a half hour or so. So on we pressed to the farmer's market on Ninth between 56th and 57th. We browsed. I bought vegetables and one apple. Then JR bought a black and white cookie from Meredith's Bread, and we sat in the corner of the park, soaking up the sun (me) and eating a cookie (JR).

Look to the cookie

And then, readers, we finally made it to Capital One, where the notary was alive and well and in attendance. We encountered a fetching coconut sculpture in the waiting area, which was a plus. And then we left, with a legitimate-looking notarized document.

Yes, I returned to my apartment two and a half hours after leaving. But it was actually a lovely afternoon. Good luck, JR!

El Centro
824 Ninth Avenue
646-763-6585

Shake Shack redeems itself

After our disappointment with the dessert offerings at Eataly, BL and I were marooned on 5th Avenue and 23rd Street with nothing sweet in sight. We peeked around the corner to see if the Van Leeuwen truck was parked in one of its frequent spots-- it wasn't. What to do, what to do? Figured we might as well check out the only thing that came to mind: Shake Shack.

Now, as you know, I've had mixed experiences with Shake Shack custard, but I'm always the optimist when it comes to frozen treats. Plus, I figured, the line would be too long, and we'd have to go elsewhere anyway. Well, the regular line WAS very long, almost snaking its way out of the park entirely-- BL was discouraged-- but I pressed forward to check out the B line. The B line WAS no line. Honestly. One person sneaked his way in there in front of us, but we waited approximately 30 seconds and were at the window, ordering our dessert.

BL chose the daily special custard, grasshopper. The woman at the register described it as "chocolate mint," and I was expecting regular mint chocolate chip. But what emerged looked smooth and chocolatey; I took one bite and it tasted just like an Andes mint. Damn, I thought, that's good, and I'd tweaked.

Simple in looks but complex in flavor

Turned out, however, that this time around, for the first time, I HADN'T tweaked. My concoction, a cup of half-vanilla, half-chocolate, with caramel sauce on top-- was good. Nay, delicious! I gobbled it down, the caramel sauce sparse but flavorful, the vanilla and chocolate mixing and complementing one another like the best of black & white cookies.

Would have liked more caramel, but what was there worked

So what did I learn from this experience? While I might not jump at the Shack's vanilla custard straight up, when it's paired and doctored with more flavorful elements, it's quite a good conveyance. This visit made me a believer.

Shake Shack
Madison Park, 23rd Street and Madison Avenue
212-889-6600

Cookie winners and losers at Glaser's Bake Shop

Back into post-Vegas land... what a whirlwind! To ease us back into the present (or at least more recent past), let's take a visit to Glaser's Bake Shop on the Upper East Side. I've been there before to check out their "legendary" black and white cookies. Well, last weekend I wanted one. So off we went to the somewhat dingy shop, dealt with the upbeat but, ahem, overly directive counter women, and emerged with cookies of two different types, which we ate after dinner.

AV's choice? A big chocolate chip cookie. Not recommended--it was flat, with standard chocolate chips and not much else going for it. AV said the flavor wasn't quite there and that overall the cookie was bland. Blech. What's worse than a bad chocolate chip cookie? (That's a rhetorical question. A lot of things are worse.)

The loser

But thankfully the black and white cookie redeemed our visit. The cake portion was crunchy on the outside and tender in the thick middle, just like a--gasp!-- cookie! The chocolate frosting was ample and sweet and supple, while the white icing was the classic vanilla glaze with real flavor. I ate this cookie and then wanted another one. I won't pretend to have eaten all the black and white cookies in this city, but this one is definitely a contender for the best.

The winner!

Glaser's Bake Shop
1670 First Avenue, between 87th and 88th Streets
212-289-2562

A top-notch black & white cookie at Glaser's

In addition to being a cupcake fanatic, I consider myself somewhat of a black & white cookie conoisseur. When I was younger, I used to go with my dad to pick up Sunday brunches at the Bagel Baker in my hometown. In addition to a bag of bagels and cream cheese, we always came home with a treat for me: a halfmoon cookie (note: in my heart of hearts, they will always be halfmoons, but since I'm a New Yorker now I'll use the term "black and white cookie," even though it makes part of my soul die just a little bit). So for me, b&ws are not only delicious but nostalgic as well. I've unofficially been trying to find the best b&w in the city, and by many accounts, that title rests with Glaser's. Yesterday, since it was approximately 115 degrees out and I had nothing better to do, I decided to venture up to the Upper East Side to see what it was all about.

The entrance. I like the grandmotherly lace curtains... they'll come back in style someday.

Glaser's is a dusty and somewhat unassuming old German bakery. The inside is utilitarian: a pastry case with the goods for sale, and that's pretty much it. There were some delicious-looking cupcakes and chocolate-covered goodies, but I was here on a mission.

Huge meringue presence here

Lots of things with almonds

And my mission, as I chose to accept it, was to purchase the quote-unquote "best" b&w in the city. The women working the counter were chatting to another customer, whom they seemed to know well, and seemed mildly perturbed by my presence. Nonetheless, I got what I came for, and it was cheap, too: $1.50 (not including the subway fare it took to get there...).

My quarry

I emerged into the swealtering heat, ready to see what the buzz was all about.

It's so cute, hiding in the bag like that.

But first, I had to get home. Now, for some reason I decided to walk from the UES back to Hell's Kitchen. Don't ask me why I did that, because even at the time it seemed stupid. But I managed to get the b&w back in one piece, and after a light dinner, I was ready to go.

But first, a telltale sign that we were on the right track:

As Dr. Nick says, if the paper turns clear, it's your window to weight gain

I arranged my plate and silverware, as is customary dessert protocol for me.

I appreciate the vanilla frosting overhang on the cookie's edge

The b&w seemed to have two very different icings: the vanilla side was the usual powdered-sugar glaze, while the chocolate side seemed more like typical frosting, with the merest crackled sugary crust on top. The vanilla was extraordinarily sweet, with a mild vanilla flavor on the aftertaste. The chocolate was much more powerful: a fudgy, thick, almost dark-chocolate tasting frosting. Again, as Jerry Seinfeld discussed at length, the beauty of the b&w is that the vanilla and chocolate play off each other, so taking one bite of vanilla and one of chocolate, or getting a bite with both in it at once, created the perfect racial harmony.

Frosting close-up

The cookie part was very cakey, which I like in a b&w. It was light, a little dry, as it should be; I couldn't quite place the flavor, which was extremely slight-- perhaps vanilla, perhaps the faintest bit of lemon. Either way, it was a fitting conveyance for the frosting (which is the whole point of the b&w, obvi).

A nice airy, crumbly cake

I also appreciate that the Glaser's b&w is a manageable size. I could (and did) finish this off easily without falling into a sugar coma. Was this the best b&w I've ever had? Hard to say. Is it the best in Manhattan? Since I haven't tried them all (yet), I can't deliver that final judgment, but I will say this: Glaser's makes a mighty fine b&w. If you're in the neighborhood, or if you live in Hell's Kitchen but happen to be insane (see also: me), swing by the little powder-blue shop on 1st avenue and pick one up for yourself. If nothing else, you'll have yourself a solid dessert.

Note: Thanks to a vigilant reader, I now offer the actual address of Glaser's: It's at 87th and 1st avenue. Enjoy!