The Rereview: A birthday revisit at Pera

It was the bro's birthday this past Wednesday (April FOOLS!!! Hahahahaha. No wait, it really was), and for an extra special treat, the Mom came in from Massachusetts to take JT, the bro, and me out to a celebratory dinner. Per my suggestion, we made our way to Pera Mediterranean Brasserie, a place I'd been to with my mom and thought the bro would like.

We were seated at a large table with a great view of the open kitchen (score!). We took our time placing our order, but shortly after we had completed the transaction, Pera's interesting bread basket arrived. I say interesting because the bread is tasty-- almost completely hollow and studded with sesame seeds. But, being hollow, it's almost entirely unsatistfying. The best part of the basket is the tangy, pungent feta cheese that's really delicious ladled into the empty interior of each small pocket.

Bread. It will fool you with its emptiness.

Our appetizers emerged quite promptly. The bro had selected the crispy phyllo rolls, which our waiter described as "Turkish mozzarella sticks." Once the rolls had arrived and the bro had taken a bite, he described the order as "a mild tweak." According to their consumers (JT had one as well), the rolls were okay but not great. Not worth ordering again.

Tweak!!

Mom and I split the Maroul salad, which she had gotten last time. It was a delectable mixture of shredded romaine, dill, scallions, and feta cheese. Light, salty, and tasty, it's a salad worth traveling to.

Crunchy, light, green, and white

After we finished our apps, we sat and waited. And waited. The wait for our entrees stretched on and on, long enough for me to begin picking the sesame seeds off my half-eaten roll. Finally, after our waiter assured us our dishes were coming right out, the entree course did arrive. First up: my mom's fish, the catch of the day. I believe it was dourade, prepared the same way as it was last time, with a green foamy sauce and a fried pepper on top. She enjoyed it, as she does all sea creatures.

Like froth from the sea.

For my entree, I got the grilled vegetable and haloumi salad, which I had so enjoyed last time. This time, I requested the chef go easy on the oil, because it was a wee bit oily last time. I'm not sure if that request was what did me in, but this version of the salad was not nearly as yummy as last time. The cheese, in particular, felt as though it had been grilled many moons ago and sat there for a while-- the edges were incredibly tough and oil-saturated, so much so that I wished I had had a steak knife to cut it properly. Taste-wise, it was still on point, but I was disappointed by the texture.

The cheese looks like chicken

Finally, JT and the bro had both gotten the lamb steak special, a fajita-esque sizzling skillet of lamb with a little arugula salad on top. Both consumers absolutely RAVED about the lamb. JT deemed it the best lamb he's ever had. Let's say that this dish produced two very contented customers, including one contented birthday boy, which did my heart good.

Best. Lamb. Ever.

So there we go. Needless to say, we had a Billy's Bakery birthday cake waiting at home, so we passed on dessert and headed home. While the pacing was a bit of a lapse in the otherwise up-to-par service, I will add one thing worth noting: About halfway through the meal, one of the drunk, loud idiots sitting at the table next to us spilled a glass of red wine, which splashed all over my umbrella and my purse. While the drunkard made no effort to apologize, at the end of the meal the manager of Pera came over, gave me his card, and told me if I had any dry cleaning bills as a result to send them his way. Not that I'm going to dry clean my purse (if I knew what other ridiculous crap was all over that purse, I probably would have dry cleaned it long ago, but as it stands... well, meh). But it was a very classy gesture. So while my food was a bit less stellar than last time, the raves from JT and the bro and the extra-mile effort from the manager mean that Pera keeps its four Offset Spatula designation. It's a truly great place for upscale, tasty, generally well-excuted Mediterranean food in a beautiful and buzzing dining room.

Pera Mediterranean Brasserie

303 Madison Avenue, between 41st and 42nd Streets

212-878-6301

Parmesan ice cream and textbook baklava at Pera

This past Monday, my mom was in town for business, and we met up for dinner near her hotel. I took this opportunity finally to try Pera Mediterranean Brasserie, a restaurant that has been on my list for a while.

We scrambled in the front door, escaping from the debilitating cold outside. The restaurant itself was gorgeous, warm, and inviting, well-decorated, large, and comfortable. We slid into a table for two and looked over the menu.

When we had decided, a man came over to take our order. He wasn't our waiter-- a competent and professional waitress had come to take our drink orders earlier; he seemed more like a cross between the manager and Tony Soprano. While reciting the specials, he leaned with one hand on the table, his ample body angled away from us, reciting mechanically while gazing vacantly across the room and avoiding all eye contact with my mother or me. Wow-- what a pleasant, personal touch! Fortunately, this was the only such service lapse during the meal-- the rest of our interactions with the staff were nothing but 100% lovely.

After the large and bored manager had left with our order, a runner arrived with a basket of warm, puffy breads. They were accompanied by a small dish of what we assume was crumbled feta. One bite into the whole-wheat looking bread, which was studded with sesame seeds on the crust, revealed a completely hollow interior, which I filled with a bit of cheese. The bread was good, but it wasn't all that satisfying... probably a common complaint regarding foodstuffs that are 98% air. While Mom and I were both on our first roll, I saw the same runner who had brought us our bread basket murking around our area of the floor aimlessly, holding another full basket. Finally, clearly unsure of what to do, he came over and replaced our (still nearly full) basket with the new one he had been holding, then took the rolls from the old basket, dumped them into the new basket, and left. I turned to my mom and said, "That clearly was not supposed to happen."

Bread basket #1

Pungent feta, with drizzle of oil

Empty. Like my hungry stomach.

This particular bit of bread-based theater completed, it was time for the appetizer course. My mom had ordered the Maroul salad, described as a mix of shredded romaine hearts, dill, scallion, feta cheese, lemon, and extra virgin olive oil. The bowl held a very large portion of salad-- definitely a good value!-- and I tried a bit. It was surprisingly tasty, well-seasoned and toothsome. Well done.

Beautiful mountain of green and white

After the salad was dispatched, our entrees arrived. Mom had selected the pan-roasted filet of salmon, which came with coarse sea salt, dill and yogurt foam. It was not only a pretty dish, but Mom declared it well-cooked, with a nice seared crust. It was topped by two tempura-fried garnishes; I ate them, and it turned out they were mild peppers and quite delicious.

Fish, precarious and beautiful

My own selection was the grilled vegetable and halloumi cheese salad, which came with thinly mandolined eggplant and zucchini a large slice of fennel along with two substantial pieces of halloumi cheese that had been seared. I love the texture and taste of halloumi-- the delightful toothy squeak it gives when you bite into it is just the best-- and the halloumi was clearly the star of the salad. The grilled vegetables were a nice garnish, but I wish there had been more. The oregano olive oil, almost a pesto-like mixture, surrounding everything gave all the dish's various elements a piquant flavor. This was a scrumptious salad, one that I would happily eat again.

A composed plate of deliciousness

Finally, we HAD to cap off our meal with dessert. Despite her protestations that the Maroul salad had filled her up (yeah, right), Mom ordered the molten chocolate cake. It was soft and chocolately and earned the vigorous approval of a discerning chocoholic. Perhaps more interesting than the cake itself, however, were the garnishes: a small bowl of fresh whipped cream (I ate that, thank you very much), a dish of chocolate sauce (perhaps chocolate overload with a chocolate cake), and a tiny scoop of something altogether unintelligible. It looked like guacamole, but when you peered closer, it was clear that it was pistachio-based. A taste revealed that it sort of seemed like ice cream, but there was a potent flavor present that was intensely puzzling. I rolled it around my tongue like a contestant in the Top Chef Palate Challenge and finally determined that it tasted like parmesan cheese. Yeah, weird. Being the dork that I am, I ultimately asked the waitress what the ingredients were, and it turns out the secret ingredient was actually sheep's milk, which gave the ice cream its tangy taste (N.B.: my determination that it tasted like parmesan was not that far off-- sheep's milk is what gives pecorino cheese, a close cousin to parm, its flavor. In short, I am a genius). I do like sheep's milk cheese, but this stuff was just weird.

It's like a chocolate cake fajita!

My dessert selection was an order of baklava. Unlike the puzzling concoction at Kellari, this baklava was done exactly right-- it was made up of light, flaky layers filled with chopped nuts, with the bottom quarter-inch or so of phyllo dough soaked with sweet honey. The portion was just right, too-- I finished it all without being unpleasantly overstuffed.

Three perfect bites

And with that, we paid the bill and rushed out into the freezing cold midtown air. Pera isn't cheap, but it was incredibly good-- the food was uniformly top-notch, creative, and well-presented. I would eagerly return to try some of the other vegetarian offerings on the menu... or just to get another crack at that halloumi salad. Regardless, if you enjoy Greek or Mediterranean food, get yourself to Pera and give it a try. It's a genuine four Offset Spatula winner.

Pera Mediterranean Brasserie

303 Madison Avenue, between 41st and 42nd Streets

212-878-6301