The Turducken of baked goods at Andre's

This past weekend, my good friend BD from home and his girlfriend MM were in town. We met up over dinner at Cavatappo Grill, that old standby, and then released ourselves onto the UES streets in search of dessert. What would satisfy our cravings? We swung by Two Little Red Hens, jonesin' for some cupcakes and pie, only to find it closed. For shame. Onward we went, one block south, to Andre's for some Hungarian treats.

AV and I had hit up this little secret before, finding the edibles sweet and the employees sour. This time around, the service wasn't quite so brusque-- not exactly touchy-feely either, but at least they didn't seem angry that we were there. That was an improvement. The four of us grabbed a table and selected our snacks; a few moments later, the goodies arrived.

Both AV and MM went with the chocolate croissant. These were large and graced with a flurry of powdered sugar, but if you're looking for a classical, flaky French croissant, these are not it. The dough was stretchy and dense, almost like a breakfast bread or a heavier cinnamon roll dough. On the plus side, the chocolate inside was well distributed, and the whole thing came together well in a finish of chocolate and brown sugar.

About the size of a Hutch football

My choice was the vanilla roulade, a slice of chocolate cake spiraled with vanilla creme and a center of jellied cherry. I stuck to the center of the treat, where the cake had absorbed some of the cherry liquid and was tasty and moist. The cake around the exterior was a bit dry; no matter, as I was only able to finish about a half or two thirds of the treat before I gave up.

You can see the moisture in the middle

But there was no giving up on the part of BD, the evening's champion. He ordered what Andre's euphemistically calls "Chocolate Mousse Cake," a slice that turns out to be a previously undiscovered concoction combining chocolate cake, chocolate mousse, cheesecake, and chocolate ganache icing. This was unquestionably the Turducken of baked goods: Gancheemoucake, or perhaps Moueese'ganake. Regardless, BD tucked in with the vigor of a veteran, demolishing first the cake and the cheesecake and then, finally, with a few heroic bites, the thick layer of mousse. Dammmmmmn.

Hard to believe this actually exists

At that point, it was pretty much all we could do to roll ourselves to the curb and our respective destinations. We definitely had a good time at Andre's, but I'm still on the ambivalent side-- the place doesn't have a whole lot of atmosphere, and without careful ordering, you can definitely find better baked goods elsewhere. However, if you're in the mood for strudel or rugelach or one of their specialties, or if you're simply in a pastry pinch (damn you, Two Little Red Hens!), stop on by and check it out-- at the very least, it's a neighborhood institution.

Andre's Bakery

1631 Second Avenue, between 84th and 85th Streets

212-327-1105

Back to basics at Amy's Bread

It's been a tough few weeks for the cupcake eater in me. First I tried to squelch the craving with a non-cupcake pastry from Andre's. Then I gave in to the siren song that is Crumbs. Where's a Billy's red velvet or banana cupcake when you need one? Down in Chelsea and Tribeca, sadly. So when the craving returned last week, once again I turned to a local option: Amy's Bread.

Now, while my heart certainly lies with Billy's, I won't pretend I was unhappy "settling" for Amy's. I wrote about the black and white cupcake at Amy's a while back, and when I get a local craving for a chocolate cupcake with vanilla frosting, it still can't be topped. They've changed the wrappers to French cupcake liners since I last wrote, making the quarry look a little something like this:

The frosting got squished in transit. But still good!

When you pull the paper off the cupcake, it falls away in a neat halo, not unlike this dinosaur from Jurassic Park.

I realize this picture doesn't look much different from the one above it. But trust me, the cupcake liner mechanism works well.

And then when you cut into the cupcake, it reveals its true magic: A moist, fine-crumbed, intensely chocolatey cake that neatly straddles the line between cake and brownie. The center is always a tiny bit underdone, aptly delivering that fudgy-brownie hit, while the base of the cupcake brings the cake. Oh, and the frosting is perfect, sugary and mild, a classic foil for the rich cake.

You can see the moisture throughout and the layer of fudginess right below the frosting

While the other cupcakes at Amy's can't hold a candle to the goodies at Billy's, their black and white cupcake is tops. My unequivocal recommendation remains.

Napoleon conquers LWF&D at Andre's

Now that the weather has turned chilly, my dessert cravings are shifting from the summer-long "ice cream ice cream ice cream" to the fall and winter pastry craving. Since I've left Billy's, I've been battling a cupcake craving that's been pretty powerful, and it returned with a vengeance on Sunday afternoon. I was up at AV's place on the UES, so we took a walk through the crisp night air to see what types of pastries we could scare up.

Fate took us to Andre's Hungarian pastry shop, a little spot that had been recommended to me by my friend KS, who used to live in the neighborhood. I'm not the biggest fan of strudel, their signature baked good, but there were some other delectables that looked tasty in the pastry counter crowding the front entrance. I asked the incredibly curt and surly woman at the counter a few questions, and, upon receiving her annoyed answers, ultimately realized we should just pick something and get out of there. And so we did.

We ended up with two rugelach, incredibly sweet, chewy, and tasty with berries and nuts and coarse sugar over the top.

Like little multicolored jewels

And also an incredible napoleon, which towered about six inches high and weighed a good pound or so. AV and I stuffed ourselves with the rich, eggy vanilla custard, until our bellies were distended and we could stand no more. Between the two of us we still only managed about two-thirds of it.

Well, this isn't the MOST appetizing picture I've ever taken...

But was it good? Oh, yes. If you want custard, or cookies, or anything sweet, really, Andre's can supply it in spades. And if you want surly attitude, they can supply that too. But if you've got $6 to spare (warning: Andre's isn't cheap) and a thick skin, grab a spoon and custard yourself silly.

Andre's Bakery

1631 Second Avenue, between 84th and 85th Streets

212-327-1105