West Side Steakhouse looking to shake up Tenth Avenue

There's a lot of movement going on in the Hell's Kitchen neighborhood, with restaurants and shops closing down and new places growing phoenix-like in their wake. The newest tantalizer is on Tenth Avenue, between 43rd and 44th, taking the place of the former and humerously-named "Gourmet Wok."

Yep, gourmet.

There's definitely construction going on there, but what's most interesting is the small public notice located beneath the three building permits:

West Side Steakhouse wants booze!

Could it be? A steakhouse, coming to Tenth Avenue? Any more reports, send them my way.

Back to Holey Cream we go

After a delectable dinner at Taboon, AV and I were both relatively full but craving something sweet. In celebration of the incredible spring-like weather we were having, we decided to head for ice cream. (Because as we all know, LWF&D does not do ice cream when it's cold out. Right.)

We first tried to pick up some soymilk soft serve at Kyotofu, but after waiting in the vestibule for 5-10 minutes without being helped, we decided to take our business on the road. So we ended up a few blocks north at Holey Cream.

Tempted by the freshly made and lavishly decorated donuts in the cases at the front, we stuck to our guns and headed straight for the ice cream. AV chose Heath Bar; I went for their low-fat chocolate with peanut butter. AV's was a more than competent version of the classic: sweet and rich with plenty of Heath Bar action. Mine was delicious, consisting of a light chocolate base interspersed with chocolate chips and thick ribbons--truly enormous shards, really-- of creamy peanut butter that softens as the treat begins to melt. They claim this flavor has fewer calories than Tasti D, but I really can't imagine that's true. It's a springtime delight either way.

Vanilla base, toffee accents

See the peanut butter shard peeking out at the bottom?

Holey Cream, we'll be seeing you again soon.

Holey Cream
Ninth Avenue and 53rd Street
212-247-8400

All by our lonesome at Insieme

The bro turned 28 last week, and with Mom in town, a birthday dinner was in order for Friday night. Mom had to work late, and the bro wanted Italian food, so we convened a "dinner" party at Insieme, on the northern edge of Times Square, slightly after 9PM.

I'd been to Insieme once for lunch a while ago, and I remember it being good, so we all had high hopes. Our crew was motley: AV and I had already eaten; the bro and LM were rarin' for dinner; Mom, who joined late, had already eaten a light meal earlier. Needless to say, we were bound to confuse the waitstaff.

And confuse we did. After awkwardly hovering at our table despite repeated hints (nay-- outright requests) for him to come back later, our server was gleeful to take our order. But let's just say what we ordered disappointed him. As we ordered light meals one after the other, he said "For entree?" disapprovingly after each request. Yes, for entree; no, I'm not ordering anything else. I'd understand this attitude if we were taking up a table in a busy restaurant, potentially sucking revenue they could otherwise get from a big-eatin' crew; however, we were one of TWO tables occupied in the entire restaurant. By the end of our meal, we were the only ones there. If we weren't there, the table clearly would have been empty.

Anyway, press on, press on. The meal started with bread (warm; AV approved) and a complimentary bite of bacalao fritters. The bro had already popped one in his mouth before I explained what bacalao was; he shrugged and noted that it tasted like a tater tot. At the end of the evening he pronounced the tiny fritters potentially the best part of the meal.

Roll.

Cod'ter tots

There was also an amuse-bouche: Italian egg-drop soup. I abstained, but the other party-goers tried it and universally panned the murky liquid as bland. "Tastes like dishwater," quipped my mom. But Mom, how do you really feel?

Mmm, dishwater

But on to the real food. The bro and Mom both ordered the insalata di misticanza (the bro as a starter, Mom as her "entree"-- yes, entree!). This was an interesting mixture and a large portion, and it met with approval from both consumers.

Lots of veggies in thar

Salad gone; entrees up. The bro chose the spaghetti all'Amatriciana, with a hearty guanciale-based sauce. LM went for the papardelle with pork ragu. AV opted for the pear and pecorino salad, with frisee, escarole, and walnuts. General consensus on all three dishes was quite favorable, and once again, the portions were large, so extra points for that.

Spaghetti, obstructed view

Looks like a lot of rosemary on top

Shower of nuts!

I was in the mood for cheese, so I ordered off the dessert menu (awk). My taleggio and pecorino were both what they advertised, and once again the portion size was overwhelming. The accompaniments to the cheese were clearly afterthoughts, sadly, with dry, flavorless bread and a few sorry pieces of dried fruit. But the cheese was good.

The bread even LOOKS dry

The four of us were all stuffed after this, but Mom pressed on with dessert. The chocolate budino, please, hold the espresso cream. Mom dug into the rich-looking pot and, after a few bites, noted that despite appearances the pudding wasn't really all that chocolatey. And though the candied almonds on top were tasty, they didn't really cohere with the dish. Overall, not the most successful dessert in family history.

Un-chocolate chocolate

Surprisingly, my favorite part of the meal came right before the check: a complimentary plate of mini chocolate-and-nut biscotti and a handful of cocoa-dusted almonds. The biscotti was by far and away the best biscotti I've ever had, and the nuts were no slouch either. Score!

Win!

On balance, Insieme was a mixed experience. The food ranged from mediocre (amuse bouche, dessert, cheese accompaniments) to truly strong (pastas, salads, biscotti). But gosh darn it, the restaurant was just a downright awkward place to be. Where WAS everybody? We were in the heart of Times Square and there was nobody else in the restaurant, which meant our voices competed only with the aggressive Muzak unfortunately blasting from the sound system. Unless it's part of some sort of romantic gesture, it's rarely a good thing to be in a restaurant all by oneself. Maybe Insieme is more of a lunch place? In any case, it earns three Offset Spatulas, since the food can be quite good. Just try it at lunch.

Insieme
777 Seventh Avenue, at 51st Street
212-582-1310

Further excellence at Taboon

You know those places that keep getting better each time you go? I'm beginning to think that Taboon is one of them. I've written glowing words about the fresh, simple, excellent food at Taboon a few times before, and this review will be no different. AV and I popped by for an early dinner last Friday evening, and Taboon delivered its goodies in spades.

As always, we began with their complimentary loaf of warm, house-made flat(ish) bread. This time around the bread was the best I've ever had there-- piping hot from the oven, lightly slicked with oil and sprinkled with salt and herbs, pull-apart stretchy on the inside and crusty on the outside. It pretty much doesn't get much better than this, especially when you pair it with an order of tzaziki, as we did. We contemplated asking for a vat of this dish-lickingly addictive yogurt-based concoction, diving in with two spoon-ended slushee straws, and gorging ourself silly on the ambrosial dip. As it was, we practically battled for the last bits of this modest portion.

A dynamic duo

Between us, we ordered my two favorite dishes on the menu. AV went for the haloumi salad, featuring that incredible tooth-squeaking cheese, grilled to add a bit of crust and chopped into bite-sized bits. The tomato, cucumber, red onion, and shaved fennel added a vegetal counterpoint to the cheese, and the whole mixture was brought together with a mouth-puckering vinaigrette.

Twist on the traditional Greek salad

I went for the zucchini cakes. Break though the light pan-fried crust to reach the creamy insides, a mixture of feta cheese, zucchini, and herbs and spices. I supplemented the small smear of yogurt with more tzaziki. There's no other word for this flavorful appetizer than excellent. Simply excellent.

Zucchini beauties

We had other designs on dessert this time around, so we ended our light meal there. Every time I go to Taboon, I vow to go back again soon. The food is simple but perfectly prepared, full of those signature Mediterranean ingredients that are filling but leave you feeling lively and healthy. If you're a fan of Greek, Turkish, or any other Mediterranean cuisine, you'd do yourself a disservice not to give Taboon a try. It's one of the city's best hidden gems.

Taboon
773 Tenth Avenue, at 52nd Street
212-713-0271

LPQ is coming to the UES!

Spotted on the Upper East Side this weekend: The formerly empty storefront at the corner of Lex and 88th, which in a previous life was a bizarre boutique-y women's clothing store:

That's plywood there...

The reveal

Le Pain Quotidien is coming! Hello, Sunday brunch, tempting pastries, and crusty breads. Now the questions is, when? "Soon," yes, but when?!

A baked-good nod to Passover

With Passover winding down, I felt it appropriate to celebrate by indulging in a special Passover cupcake from Crumbs. So to Crumbs I trekked, and after dinner, I unwrapped my quarry.

I had chosen a Raspberry Red Sea cupcake, since I'd read great reviews of it online. It's a regular Crumbs-sized cupcake (read: size and heft of a softball), with a nut cake base, raspberry vanilla cream cheese frosting, raspberry preserves filling, and a decoration of sliced almonds and "raspberry drizzle" (a.k.a. red gel).

The behemoth

Cross-section-- frosting smearage is hiding the preserves filling

The verdict? Actually quite good. The main attribute of the cake, like many flourless concoctions, was "crumbly." The thing pretty much fell apart in my hands. But if you're not expecting traditional Crumbs cake (spongy, bouncy, resilient), it's inoffensive, with a mildly sweet nutty flavor. There's too much of it, of course-- I lopped off the bottom half of the cake to no ill effect. The combination of the frosting and filling, however, was where the cupcake shined. The frosting was sweet without being cloying, and the raspberry preserves led needed moisture to the cake. I personally felt there were too many almonds on top, and the "raspberry drizzle" didn't really add much beyond visual interest. But once I developed a technique to create perfect bites of a bit of cake, a bit of filling, and a dollop of frosting (denuded of the almonds), I was quite happy with the creation.

My guess is these holiday creations are going to retire soon, so if you're hankerin' for a bit of fruit-flavored flourless fun, head over to your local Crumbs ASAP.

Crumbs
Locations throughout Manhattan

A midweek stop at Oceana

After an impromptu midweek shopping excursion (or, since nothing was purchased, more like a wandering excursion), Mom and I ended up hungry in Midtown. The wastelands of Midtown, to be exact-- Sixth Avenue, near Rock Center. Is that a tumbleweed I see? Yeah. Fortunately, just when despair was about to hit, I spotted Oceana-- and in we ducked gratefully.

We were there quite early, so we didn't have trouble snagging a table. The hostess tucked us at a huge two-person table in the dining room. As befits a fancy restaurant of Oceana's caliber, the place is incredibly comfortable-- luxuriously expansive tables, cushy couch-like banquettes with mercifully padded backs. While it's a large-scale dining room, it's a comfortable place to be.

Oceana is a fish place (obvi), and I'm a vegetarian, so would this unlikely match work out? Let's start with the bread, a choice of warm honey-whole wheat rolls or a sourdough baguette. I'm not the hugest fan of honey-flavored bread (something about the sweet flavor when I associate bread with savory purposes always turns me off), but the sourdough baguette was aggressively crusty and delicious. Deducting the obligatory points for providing three pieces of bread for two people, Oceana gets extra points for having room-temp, spreadable, salt-sprinkled butter. An enjoyable bread course overall.

The dreaded trio

Speckled bread

A surprise amuse-bouche interrupted the bread course. It was lobster and asparagus soup with olive oil and toasted croutons, so unfortunately I did not get to taste this beauty. But Mom raved about it-- she said it was unusual and tasted really strongly of the lobster. She'd never had anything quite like it.

Spring green

Mom started off her meal with the salad of local greens with shaved vegetables and sherry vinaigrette. Once again, this was a hit (and I tried a mouthful of greens to confirm). The greens were fresh, and the dressing was notably tangy and salty, lending good flavor to the mixture.

Probably the largest portion of anything we ordered

Then on to the main courses. I went with the watercress and date salad, with beets and hazelnuts (I requested no gorgonzola, which usually accompanies the dish in the form of gorgonzola cream decorating the plate). This was, it must be said, a really small portion, but what was there was high quality. The watercress was lively without an overwhelming peppery bite, and the crushed hazelnuts dotting the mixture added both texture and appealing flavor. The beets were beets, and I assume the sweet red smear on the plate was something date-related, because otherwise there were no dates in the salad. The salad verged on the sweet side, but it was enjoyable in its creativity.

Appealing to the eye, and the sweet tooth

Mom chose the tamarind-glazed mahi mahi, which came as a hunk of fish on a plate, rather sloppily unadorned. But once again, it shined in terms of flavor-- Mom pronounced it delicious and impressively moist.

Compared to the rest of the presentations, this one fell flat

To add vegetable interest to our meals, we ordered a side of wild mushrooms to share. These mushrooms, served in a delightful little pot, were an impressively exotic mixture and mercifully ungreasy. The fresh herbs added spikes of fresh flavor to an otherwise umami-heavy dish. In short, these mushrooms were addictive.

Yum

Dinner, despite not being large in quantity, was filling, but that doesn't mean there wasn't room for dessert. In fact, we both had room for the chocolate sticky toffee pudding, which usually comes with stout beer ice cream. We replaced the offending stout with chocolate and vanilla ice cream for Mom and me, respectively. The pretty little cake arrived in the form of a two-layer rectangular log, draped demurely on one side in a thin blanket of caramel. The bottom layer was a molasses-flavor cake, and the top layer was a sticky, date-flavored concoction of glossy goodness. There was a buttery oatmeal tuile piercing the cookie on one side, and the sphere of French vanilla ice cream that sat atop a pile of cookie crumbs was surrounded by bizarre and strongly-flavored cubes of stout gelee. I passed on these cubes. I managed to pack away all of the ice cream and much of the cake before getting too full. Is it weird that I found that tiny square of caramel to be the best part of the dessert?

Mom's had chocolate ice cream

As a final bit of deliciousness before the check, we were presented with two tiny little ice-pops apiece, one a creamy and tangy tangerine flavor, one a dead ringer for a fudgsicle. What an unexpected delight!

Awwww

Oceana isn't cheap, but a meal in the comfortable space is undoubtedly a fine-dining experience. With all the well-planned extras, you get quite a bit of food, even if the portions are rather small. And for a pescatarian, there's nothing better in terms of variety and quality. So Oceana earns four Offset Spatulas, even if it wasn't necessarily the best meal I've had in recent history-- I realize I'm not the best judge, and my mom was pleased as punch. If you're into the stuff from the sea, make a stop at Oceana and revel in its bounty.

Oceana
1221 Avenue of the Americas, at 49th Street
212-759-5941